Promise Hill S1 Ep 6, The Bruise

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Hey there,

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friends,

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and welcome back to Promise Hill.

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This is Season 1,

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Episode 6,

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The Bruise.

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Hello,

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I'm Kimberlee Herman,

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your host.

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First things first,

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thank you for listening and walking this winding road with me.

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Whether you've been here since Episode 1 or you're just testing the waters,

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I'm so glad that you're here.

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This podcast is an unfolding story,

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so you may want to start with episode one.

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While this is a soul care podcast,

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and I'm a Christian counselor,

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just want to remind you that this does not constitute counseling.

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This is just entertainment only.

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In our last episode,

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Mira discovered the secret room,

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remember,

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and rediscovered some old memories in the box.

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She also saw an envelope with papers that her mom Ruth was not ready to discuss.

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In this episode,

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we learn that sometimes life doesn't leave scars that bleed on the outside,

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but it sure knows how to leave a bruise on your soul.

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I will meet you on the other side of the story with reflections,

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live it out action steps,

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and prayer.

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Let's listen in.

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Mira woke up in a start,

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not knowing why.

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After a moment,

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she remembered.

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Oh

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the text and my mom's box and all the memories it contained.

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And who's GL?

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Something tells me I'm not running from the past anymore.

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I'm walking straight toward it.

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I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

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I'm going to see if Grandma Eden can help me.

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The morning air hummed with a strange electricity as she made her way down the quiet street to Grandma Eden's.

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Mira's fingers brushed the worn edge of a photograph inside her purse like a talisman.

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Flowers bloomed along the sidewalk,

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perfuming the world with jasmine and lavender.

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Wind chimes sang like tiny secrets whispering her name.

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Grandma Eden opened the door before Mira could knock and greeted her with a smile and warmth that touched her soul.

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Hello,

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Mira dear.

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Were your ears burning?

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Or did your heart just know I've got the kettle on for you?

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Mira tried to smile,

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but even her voice trembled.

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I think my heart knew.

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It's been a night.

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Inside,

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the air was alive with cinnamon and orange peels.

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Penelope,

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Eden's cat,

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announced herself with a cat rub.

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I was at Mom's house last night.

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Mira began,

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fingers tracing the porcelain cup as steam curled upward.

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Eden gave a soft nod but said nothing,

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letting the silence stretch safely between them.

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Two things I'm hoping you can give me some wisdom on.

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The first thing is that I got this strange text asking if I was Amira last night.

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I haven't responded.

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That's not my name,

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but it feels like it almost should be.

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What do you think?

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Very strange indeed.

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What is holding you back from responding?

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Too many scams are going on,

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but it won't leave me.

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Then I think you know what to do.

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Okay,

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you're right.

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I need to check it out.

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I will deal with that later.

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Okay,

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now for the other thing.

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When I was going through my mom's box,

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there was this old photograph of Jackson and me.

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I haven't seen it in years,

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and I wasn't ready for what it stirred up.

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Was Jackson your husband?

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She passed the photo to Eden.

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Sunlight caught the edges,

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turning their smiles into ghosts of summer.

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He sure was.

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We were ridiculous.

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We met in middle school.

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He put his calculator in the freezer once and told everyone he gave it a brain freeze.

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I laughed so hard that chocolate milk came out of my nose,

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all over my jeans,

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and possibly onto a bystander.

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The janitor gave me tissues.

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That was the beginning of everything,

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and the end came quietly,

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more like a fading song than a fight.

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Married at 21,

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and by 28,

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it unraveled.

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It wasn't a dramatic fall.

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No affair,

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no betrayal,

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just the slow erosion of connection.

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He buried himself in work,

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I buried myself in silence.

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We never fought,

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which somehow made it worse.

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We both agreed to pretend not to notice the growing distance.

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We didn't get help.

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We should have,

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but we didn't.

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Eden reached over,

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placing a steady hand over Mira's.

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He stayed in River City,

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where we lived before I moved here.

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His family cut ties with me after the divorce.

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They were like my second home during my teen years.

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And then,

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nothing.

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Mutual friends say he's dating again.

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And I'm...

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not.

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Not ready to hear that,

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let alone date.

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Not sure I even know how.

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Ah,

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the kind of ache that doesn't bleed,

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but still bruises.

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Mira blinked hard.

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I want to move on,

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I really do.

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But I don't know how.

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Eden leaned back and sipped her orange tea,

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then set the cup down.

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I know,

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dear,

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but I also know you can't rush healing.

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That's like trying to force a flower to bloom in winter.

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But you can prepare the soil.

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That's what healing is,

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for yourself and for Jackson.

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Not forgetting the pain or regret,

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but freeing your own hands to carry hope again.

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Mira stared into her cup.

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What if I don't know what that hope looks like?

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One day when you're ready,

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I'll tell you my story.

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I had no hope,

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only darkness in my life.

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But hope found me.

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But let's get you to start dreaming again.

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Eden's eyes began to twinkle.

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Not about a person,

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but about a life.

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Your life.

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What makes your soul stretch wide and breathe deep?

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What stirs you when the world is quiet?

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Mira's eyes distracted her to the big black book she saw on Eden's table.

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She was still not ready to ask about it,

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but she could feel it tugging at her.

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I don't know,

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but I do know I'm scared of letting go of Jackson.

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What if I never find something like that again?

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Eden smiled softly.

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You might not,

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but what if what you find next is something even better?

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Not because it's bigger,

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but because you'll be walking into it more whole.

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Penelope made her presence again with a soft purr and side rub against Mira's leg.

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You see,

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dear,

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wholeness is just for you,

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without worrying about Jackson.

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It's about bringing your focus back to the parts of you that need healing,

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even way before Jackson came into the picture.

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It's also about becoming aware of your behavior and thoughts so those can change if needed.

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It sounds like with Jackson,

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you were a suppressor.

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You've already started working on that by sharing your feelings with me.

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Mira felt something settled deep inside her.

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She didn't have all the answers,

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but maybe answers weren't the goal.

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Eden,

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how do I even begin getting whole?

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Grandma Eden smiled.

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Mira,

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dear,

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I will drop off something later to help guide you.

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Take a read.

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It's a lot to go over,

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so I want you to have a head start.

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Okay,

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thank you,

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Grandma Eden.

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I really appreciate you and your kindness to me.

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She finished her tea,

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hugged Eden tightly,

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and headed toward the door.

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Oh,

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one last question,

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dear.

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Do you attend church somewhere?

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No,

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not sure I'm interested in that right now.

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Do you think church could actually help me?

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I know it would.

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When you are ready,

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dear,

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we can talk more about church.

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Enjoy your day,

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love.

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Later that afternoon,

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when Mira went to retrieve her mail from the postbox,

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she noticed a basket sitting by her door.

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Eden had quietly stopped by with a note that read,

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Mira,

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my dear,

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here's a little something for you.

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There was an envelope,

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a bag of chamomile and jasmine tea she made from her garden,

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and a mug that said,

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Breakthrough's coming,

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mind your curls.

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Mira chuckled as she read that and touched her dark brown waves.

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The perfect mug from Eden.

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Mira made her tea in her mind your curls mug and settled in to read Eden's letter.

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Mira hoped this was salve for the bruise she carried for Jackson.

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She was hopeful now that she had steps to follow.

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But as she opened the envelope,

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something slipped out.

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Something Eden hadn't mentioned.

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A pressed wildflower bookmark attached with twine to a word,

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Salak.

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Mira held her breath.

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Hmm,

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what does this mean?

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Just then,

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a text.

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Mira read it out loud.

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Amira,

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I really need to talk to you and to tell you everything.

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Tell me what?

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Now I'm freaking out a little here.

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I'm really hoping this is a wrong number,

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but I will take Grandma Eden's advice.

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Normally,

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I would just pretend this didn't exist,

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but today I'm going to respond rather than hide.

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She started typing.

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Who is this and what do you need to tell me?

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Mira had stepped into something today.

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Not just the pages of an old story,

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but the beginnings of her own healing with Jackson with another mystery unfolding.

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The bruise she carried for so long won't heal overnight,

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but maybe it could begin to fade,

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one step at a time.

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And sometimes,

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when we think we're alone,

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something unexpected comes to guide us.

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A letter.

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A flower.

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A mug with a new kind of hope.

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Take it away,

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Kimberlee

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Let's walk this chapter home.

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I love how Mira is addressing the wounds that are revealing their tenderness.

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She is asking for help and realizes it's time.

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Do you find yourself feeling stuck and bruised in an area of your life?

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I bet many of us have bruises we have been ignoring for years.

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Maybe now is the time to start bringing the salve and tenderly care for them.

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Perhaps the reflections and action steps today will be the ointment needed to get started.

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Something we can take away from Eden is how she listened to Mira.

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She allowed her to speak,

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didn't rush her,

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didn't interrupt her,

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and didn't try to fix her.

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This is a great reminder when we have friends who just need to verbally process something they're thinking about.

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It's not our job to try to jump in and fix it.

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It's our job to create a safe space for them to feel listened to

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and comfortable sharing where they are.

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I wanted to share that I have written a breakup recovery guide.

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You can find it on my website at promisehillpodcast.com.

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It's a nine-step guide written in mine and Grandma Eden's voice.

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It's ADHD friendly as well,

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as far as it offering short lessons that hopefully you find interesting.

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This is for the woman who just...

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got out of a relationship and is feeling really,

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really down and depressed because of it.

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Or for the woman who is starting to notice a pattern with the men that she dates that the breakup recovery part is just very difficult.

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All right,

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let's walk over to the Promise Hill water fountain and have a seat to discuss three reflections from this story.

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Reflection number one,

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healing doesn't mean forgetting.

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It means making peace with what happened.

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Healing is a process of coming to terms with our past without being chained to it.

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It's not erasing the hurt,

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but learning to live with it in a way that no longer controls us.

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Hear it and hold it.

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He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

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Psalm 147 verse 3.

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Learning to live with pain is not our goal.

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We will have memories of hard times,

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but our goal is to remove the emotion from the event.

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Now there are different ways to accomplish this.

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One of the healing tools I use is called inner healing.

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It's when we go into prayer and submit the pain to Jesus.

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He then takes the pain and exchanges peace for it.

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It can get a little bit more complicated than that,

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but that's the gist of it.

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There are many other ways to heal as well.

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A lot of secular tools.

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I'm just thankful that we can start with Jesus.

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Reflection number two,

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grief and hope.

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can sit at the same table.

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One doesn't cancel out the other.

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It is possible to grieve what was lost while still holding on to the hope for what is to come.

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The presence of pain doesn't mean we've lost the ability to hope.

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But we must remember to keep our hope in Jesus.

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Hear it and hold it.

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Weeping may start for the night,

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but rejoicing comes in the morning.

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Psalm 30 verse 5.

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Grieving is a process and takes time to walk through.

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I'm sure most of you know about the five stages of grief.

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While this was originally for the person who was dying,

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it made sense for these stages to be universal.

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These stages are not linear but can ebb and flow.

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They are denial,

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anger,

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bargaining,

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depression,

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and acceptance.

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While walking through it,

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you can still have hope that a better day is coming and that hope starts with you.

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Keeping your hope in Jesus that he will carry you through the pain.

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Reflection number three,

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God never wastes pain.

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He repurposes it for growth.

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Our pain isn't meaningless.

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God uses it to shape us,

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refine us,

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and deepen our faith.

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What we once thought was wasted hurt is now a tool for our transformation.

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Hear it and hold it.

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Consider it pure joy,

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my brothers and sisters,

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whenever you face trials of many kinds because

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you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

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Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,

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not lacking anything.

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James 1 verses 2 through 4.

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While this verse is telling us that no matter what our trials,

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we are to have faith in God.

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This will grow us as we press into faith and not have doubts about God's help.

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Let's sit and breathe here.

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A few slow breaths to take in what we just learned.

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Healing is making peace with what happened.

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Grief and hope can sit at the same table,

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and God repurposes pain for growth.

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Let that settle in for a moment.

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Now,

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let's take a walk down Main Street for our action steps.

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Number one,

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create a new morning ritual.

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where you speak truth over yourself instead of replaying old memories.

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Try it tomorrow.

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An example is using scripture to step into,

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such as,

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I am beautifully and wonderfully made.

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And this becomes even more powerful when you can look in the mirror into your eyes and say this over yourself.

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Number two,

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write a letter to the version of you who loved and lost that love.

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If you're in a breakup.

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Thank her for surviving.

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This is especially great for a person who went through a divorce or a challenging breakup.

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This one brings so much compassion to parts of yourself that walk through heartache.

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This is about showing love to those parts of you that are hurting rather than criticizing them and living in the what-ifs or I should-haves.

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Stay away from those.

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In my work as a counselor,

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I work with fractured soul parts.

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The secular world calls this type of work internal family systems.

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And there's a Christian ministry called Heart Sync that also works with parts.

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God showed me this way of how he wants me to work with soul parts.

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And that will unfold over time as we get to know each other.

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But I wanted to give clarification to what parts were in my world.

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All right,

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our last action step.

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Make a playlist of songs that reflect healing,

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rising,

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and new beginnings.

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Call it your moving up soundtrack.

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I have some songs on my playlist that I just love.

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They're encouraging and supportive.

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All right,

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it's time for prayer.

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Father God,

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for the ones listening who carry quiet bruises,

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memories that sting,

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names that still ache,

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and love that feels half-written,

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I lift them up to you now.

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You see the unseen grief,

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the stories that never felt like they ended,

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and the hearts afraid to begin again.

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You know what was lost and what still longs to be found.

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Lord,

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for every listener holding an old photograph in their soul,

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for every memory that's both sacred and sore,

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I ask for peace.

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Not the kind that pretends everything is fine,

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but the peace that settles deep and quiet,

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knowing you are near.

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Give us courage to forgive,

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not just others,

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but for ourselves.

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Give us hope,

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not in what was,

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but in what could be because of who you are.

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And remind us,

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God,

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that no matter what chapter we're in,

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it's not the end of the story.

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We are still being written,

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and you,

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gentle author of our lives,

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know exactly how to unfold what's next.

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In Jesus'

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holy name,

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amen.

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Thank you,

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friends,

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for listening.

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I do hope you find encouragement in this podcast.

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As always,

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if you're struggling or dealing with severe emotions or trauma,

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please find a trained professional to walk beside you.

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Until next time,

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friends,

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may you find peace in the presence and hope on the hilltop.

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This is Kimberlee Herman cheering you on from Promise Hill.